“In a collection of perfect specimens of many biological forms, a butterfly displays the beauty of its wings, its body impaled by a fine dart.” – Sabian Symbol for Libra 0º
Balancing the scales in relationships in the 3d world can create significant pain. We humans have for ages sought to create this balance by inflicting the pain we feel on others in some way, consciously or subconsciously, keeping us bound to each-other mentally and emotionally, as we continue to point the finger at the something exterior to ourselves as the source of our discomfort. Hurting someone else when we are hurt creates a pleasing partial discharge of energy, helping us avoid feeling the pain fully. Our body carries with it the memory and training of how to do this. Uranus’ movement through Taurus is challenging our body’s programmed avoidance of physical and emotional pain. Whether it’s through adrenaline feeding interpersonal conflict or violence, addictions to nourishment or pleasure (food or sex), or games (literal games, or mind games) – we are all capable of creating elaborate inner worlds of illusion to avoid emotional pain. Knowing that about ourselves keeps us grounded, protects us from self righteousness, and gives us compassion for those who have wounded us in their own crusade to avoid pain.
The gutting, horrifying pain you feel when you are awakened is the pain that you felt when escaped into illusion, to protect yourself. The lie that you were separate from the ‘bad guys’ and the danger out there, that you were a ‘good person’. But now this lie of separation hinders you from loving your fellow man. You have been hurt, yes. But the one who has hurt you is also a victim. Integrating the wisdom that we are all one creates pressure as we are prevented from discharging this energy at the ‘enemy’ and forced back inward to finally FACE the pain.
This full moon can bring new insights into old pain may inspire a new commitment in you this spring equinox to release the past once and for all by confronting that thing you thought you could never face.
Facing that unfeelable or unthinkable thing you know deep down can give you immense power and grace. You will discover that you are eternal, that essential part of you that is capable of lasting beyond any suffering, physical, or mental condition has the opportunity to shine. It gives us the opportunity to transcend the wins and losses in the game of life and experience pain without letting it hurt our spirit. It gives us the courage to accept that unconditional love is possible. This takes an inner commitment to crossing the waters of emotion to a place of inner wisdom and justice. Having made the sacrifice of our temporary well being to integrate these nauseating, painful feelings, we can reach deeper into the great waters of our inner self. This gives us depth and courage when facing our toxic world to make changes for a better future – the proper application of justice.
This full moon will give us an opportunity to create alchemy with our pain to transform into beauty our inner world. It gives us new opportunities for grace, justice, and wisdom, but only if we have the courage to balance the scales WITHIN. Surrender yourself to your deepest wound and it will show you how timeless, loving, and graceful you really are.